I'll Call You Leroy
by Citation-2
Summary: AU based on "Hiatus" part one. Tony is aware he had made many a stupid decision in his life, but whatever it will happen, he knows he has done the right thing, for Gibbs and himself. Tony angst galore. Gibbs X Tony SLASH.
1. Chapter 1

All right, I'm back after my summer vacation. I hope you all had a wonderful time. :)

**I'll Call You Leroy**

**By Gunnery Sergeant**

An AU based on "Hiatus Part 1"

_A/N: _This is an unusual story by my standards, but I wrote it back in early 2007, before I fell sick with depression, and I think it might have influenced my writing. I have avoided it for a long time after recovering from depression, but now I've decided to post it. The quality of the writing might not be up par to my most recent works but I hope you'll enjoy it all the same.

WARNING: There are part of this story that could be considered non-consensual or, at least, not completely consensual. However, there are no violence or coercion involved...I really don't know how to classify the situation, but I thought it was best to put a warning, just in case.

Thanks to **Finlaure** for the beta reading! J

**Prologue**

Anthony DiNozzo Jr. was aware he had made many a stupid choice in his life.

There had been times when he had let his curiosity win over his common sense, and ended up opening an anonymous letter that contained the plague virus.

There had been times he had let his libido dictate his actions and had ended up tonguing a transsexual killer like Commander Voss.

There had been times he had followed his feelings and did what his heart had told him was right, no matter the consequences…just like now.

Tony wondered what the consequences for him would be when the doctors in Bethesda and Jennifer Shepard discovered what he had done.

Getting attached to a murderer like Jeffrey White and feeling regret and pain at having to kill him was one thing, kidnapping your mentally impaired boss from a military hospital was a completely different matter!

Yet, as Tony looked at the silent man sitting in the passenger seat, it was the only thing he could have done.

It all had begun when Gibbs had boarded the _Bakir Kamir_, a Turkish ship, to have a secret meeting with an undercover NCIS agent, Abog Galib, who had infiltrated an Abu Sayyaf terrorist cell.

The plan had called for Gibbs to 'arrest' Galib on some technicality connected to his passport and take him to the HQ in order to 'question' him. It should have been an easy task that didn't require back up, thus Tony, Ziva and McGee hadn't boarded the ship but waited in the car, making jokes and talking about movies until…until an explosion had broken the stillness of the harbour.

Tony still remembered the terror that had gripped him as he ran toward the location of the explosion, praying Gibbs hadn't been involved in it. He still remembered how his heart had almost skipped a beat when he had seen his boss' bloody and still form lying among the blackened debris. He still remembered the relief washing over him when he had checked Gibbs' pulse and he had realized the older man was still alive.

Tony had thanked God when the doctors had said Gibbs hadn't suffered any lasting damages and that he should soon regain his senses.

However things hadn't gone as predicted. First Gibbs had taken days to wake up from his coma and when he had finally done it, he had been just a shadow of the man he used to be.

The doctors had called it a catatonic condition. Gibbs was awake, but almost completely unresponsive to outer stimuli. He stared blankly ahead, didn't answer to questions, didn't react to touches, and didn't recognize the people closer to him.

On Director Shepard's insistence Gibbs had been moved from the Portsmouth hospital where he had been first taken to Bethesda, in the hope the doctors there would be able to help him, but it had been useless.

Forty days after waking up, Gibbs was still prisoner inside his mind and the experts were no longer confident he would ever recover. The doctors said Gibbs' problems weren't physical – there was nothing wrong with his brain—but emotional. He had retreated inside himself for some reason nobody knew, and the longer he stayed like that, the lesser the chances he would snap out of it were.

As time passed, even Ducky and Abby, who had been the most optimistic among Gibbs' friends, began losing hope to ever see his eyes once again shine with his trademark sarcasm.

As for Tony, the sight of his iron-willed boss reduced to a shell of his former self was as painful as someone twisting a knife in an open wound, again and again. But not so painful to prevent Tony from visiting Gibbs every day…and from doing what he had just done.

Three days before, Tony had overheard the Bethesda's chief neurologist inform Ducky that Gibbs would soon be moved to another structure, a clinic for mentally ill people. There was nothing more the doctors in Bethesda could do for him and Gibbs required the assistance only a specialized clinic could give.

Tony had frozen in shock upon hearing the news. Aside the fact the place in question was so far away from Washington that it would be impossible for him to visit Gibbs more than once a month, he still remembered the time he had been in a psychiatric clinic to visit his mother after she had tried to kill herself during a bout of depression.

He had been only ten back then, but he still remembered the anguish that permeated that place. He remembered the impersonal, almost unfeeling way some of the nurses treated the patients, and the numbness he has seen in the eyes of people kept drugged all the time.

It still he made him shiver, even after so many years and he just knew he couldn't let Gibbs to be interned in such a place.

He had gone to talk with Director Shepard, hoping to find support, but she had dismissed him, telling him his concerns were exaggerated.

So Tony had made the decision to take the situation into his hands. He had withdraw all of his savings from his bank account, packed some clothes for himself and Gibbs, waited for the weekend when Bethesda was crowded with visitors, and quietly taken away his boss from the hospital and the fate awaiting him the following Monday.

Now Tony was driving to Connecticut, to a cottage in the countryside his maternal grandmother had left him years before. It was a quite isolated place, but it had everything he and Gibbs would need.

Tony knew he and his boss would be fine there. The money he had was much more than anyone at NCIS thought and he would use every cent to make sure Gibbs got every chance to recover.

Anthony DiNozzo Jr. was aware he had made many a stupid thing in his life and that many a people would classify what he had just done among them, but no matter how much it would cost him when he was caught – and he knew sooner or later he would be – he knew he had done the right thing.

For his boss and himself.

Let me know what you think...and remember, reviews make me update faster!


	2. Chapter 2

First of all, I want to thank all the readers that left a review! Your response amazed me, I really wasn't expected it! I can't reply to all the review privately because, as somes you might remember, I underwent surgery to my right hand in April and, after a time it seemed my recovery was going very well, there has been a set back- which probably wasn't helped by all the writing I did in June/July (i wrote my two longest stories during that time!). *coughes*

Anyway, I'm really happy you liked the premise of this story. "Hiatus" is my favourite episode, so it's not surprising my first NCIS story (yes, because this is my first NCIS story) was based on it.

I hope you'll like the rest too!

**45 Days Later**

Tony crossed the large garden, walking toward the spot where Gibbs sat.

He circled a flowerbed full of climbing roses and reached the man lying on a recliner near the south fence, so close to the creek running nearby he could hear the sound of water splashing and dripping.

Tony's heart filled with disappointment. Gibbs was exactly in the same position he had left him an hour ago. He hadn't moved a single muscle.

He signed as he sat near his boss and studied him carefully as he often did.

Gibbs' eyes were as blank as the day Tony had taken him away from Bethesda, but at least his outer condition had improved in the month and half he had been in the countryside.

His hair, which had grown shaggy at the hospital, was now short and neatly combed as Gibbs liked, and his skin was no longer pale and sickly looking, but tanned and healthy.

Tony had to spoon-feed Gibbs, a task that never failed to test his patience, but now his boss' lean body was no longer as bony as it had been after his coma.

Following the instructions of the local doctor he had consulted, Tony massaged the muscles of Gibbs' legs and arms every day to prevent them from atrophy, in the hope to see his boss walk again in a not too distant future.

His neighbours, whom Tony knew from previous visits to the cottage, had noticed Gibbs and a couple of them, two caring women in their early sixties, looked after the older man the times Tony had to go the nearby town to buy supplies.

They thought Tony was doing something highly admirably in caring so selflessly for his mentally hurt friend, but he thought Gibbs would do the same for him. Tony could still remember how kind – although in that gruff way of his – his boss had been while he was recovering from the plague.

Tony sighed, something he was doing a lot nowadays, and returned to focus on the present.

He frowned- was it his imagination or had Gibbs just tilted his head up toward the sunlight?

The younger man gasped. Gibbs' eyes were now closed, as if he was enjoying the sun on his face. He had never done it before; Tony had to press his eyelids close before switching off the light in his room at night.

Tony's heartbeat quickened. A reaction. After almost three months without anything but automatic, innate responses, Gibbs had reacted.

Quieting his rising hope, Tony put an arm on the older man's shoulders and murmured, "Do you like the sun, Boss? It's nice to stay here, isn't it?"

Gibbs didn't answer, nor he opened his eyes, but his head moved down and up once.

A nod.

An almost imperceptible gesture, but it was enough for Tony—at least for now.

**-x-**

Later that night, Tony retired in the living room to watch the TV news and do some bookkeeping.

Gibbs was there with him, but when Tony threw him a brief look he discover with surprise that the older man had changed position on the couch, and had raised his feet to rest on the coffee table.

Tony swallowed hard. He might have imagined the slight movements the older man had made during the afternoon, but there were no mistakes now- Gibbs was moving on his own.

He couldn't help but feel thrilled by it, even if when the older man's eyes stopped on him, his gaze was still blank and unfocused.

He wasn't even certain Gibbs was really seeing him. He was still completely lost in another world- a world existing only in his mind. Tony could only hope that world was peaceful and happy, and not populated by nightmares.

When he was done, the younger man stood up and walked toward Gibbs. "Time to go to bed, Boss," he said, but before he could bend to move Gibbs to the wheelchair and carry him in the bedroom, the other man lowered his legs from the coffee table and used his arms to help himself to his feet.

Tony's heart started pounding in excitement. That was really a day full of surprises. Gibbs was standing! And more, he had risen to his feet without help or solicitation, as if he was reacting to Tony's words.

The younger man took a deep breath to calm down, and then gestured to the exit.

"Come with me," he murmured starting to walk toward the door, and Gibbs followed him, his steps uncertain and lacking the inborn grace Tony had always admired in his boss.

He took Gibbs to his room, changed him in his sleep clothes, helped him to slide beneath the sheet and then walked to the door.

On the threshold, Tony stopped. He was about to say, "Good night, Boss," when he realized how wrong that word_, boss,_ sounded.

The man lying on the bed wasn't his boss. Tony no longer worked for NCIS and it was doubtful Gibbs would return to work there too. So the title boss no longer fit.

Nor did Gibbs. It was too impersonal for the connection Tony had established with the older man during the past weeks.

_Jethro, then._

Tony frowned—that didn't sound right either. He could almost hear Jennifer Shepard call "Jethro!" across the bullpen, during one of their by now legendary shouting matches. Or he could hear Ducky said the name with mild exasperation while Gibbs pressed him for answers.

Tony shook his head. They were the only two people that regularly called Gibbs Jethro…and somehow it was a bit like boss, he associated it to the man Gibbs used to being, but was no longer.

_I'll call you Leroy, then, _Tony thought. He had never heard anyone use it, but he thought that maybe his parents had called him so when he was a child. Somehow it fitted the man lying on the bed, who was relaxed, peaceful and trusting as Jethro Gibbs would never be.

"Sleep well, Leroy," Tony whispered with a smile before leaving the room, feeling certain that night he too would rest well for the first time in far too long.

**-x-**

The next morning Tony went to wake up Leroy in his room. He was expecting to find him still in bed and almost froze on his feet when he saw the older man was sitting on his bunk, already dressed in his day clothes, his head turned in his direction.

Tony could swear his gaze was a little more aware than the previous evening.

Leroy looked at him for a while, then lowered his head and looked down at his hand, which was fingering and patting the blanket he was sitting on.

Tony observed him for several minutes, wondering what he could do or say next. His excitement was bubbling, but he tried to control it and not let his hopes rise too much.

Unaware of Tony's inner turmoil, Leroy just ignored him and continued to stroke the fabric, apparently entranced by it. By the soft texture perhaps, for it was a blanket of very good quality. Or maybe by its colour, which was light blue… Gibbs' favourite colour, Tony realized almost in an afterthought, at least judging by all the blue, light-blue, dark-blue polo shirts he owned….

Tony smiled. "Do you like that blanket, Leroy?" he asked gently, not really expecting an answer.

"Yes."

It was just a whisper, but it echoed as loud as a shout in the room.

Tony's heart flip-flopped in his chest as hope and joy surged again in him—and this time he didn't control them.

**-x-**

In the days that followed Tony kept Leroy near him as much as possible, unwilling to lose any reaction the older man might have or show.

He also wanted to find a way to communicate with Leroy, because it looked like he understood only a few words: yes, no, bath, eat, sit, sleep, go, come, and stop.

Tony spent hours talking to him, showing him around the house and the garden, touching objects as he said what they were. It was useless for while the older man looked at his movements, Tony never saw the same spark of understanding he had noticed when he had asked about the blanket.

By the end of the second week of this routine, Tony realized his actions had had an unexpected result: Leroy had transformed into his shadow.

He had developed the habit of following Tony everywhere, walking with him in the garden, and sitting in a corner when he worked in the backyard or read in the living room, leaving him alone only when he retired in the bedroom to sleep.

Leroy was a silent but intent presence, who asked nothing more than being in Tony's company and showed protectiveness in his regards, getting uneasy and tense when one of his neighbours got too close to him or talked too loud near him.

Leroy was always upset the times Tony left the cottage to go in town. The younger man could read it in his lost, pleading blue eyes the older man wanted to come with him, but he never allowed him to go.

Tony knew how cruel and insensitive people could be and he couldn't, wouldn't risk seeing Leroy mocked or pitied because he behaved like a faithful guard dog. He wanted to protect him.

And yet, despite all his noble convictions and intentions, despite his desire to help, it came the time Tony betrayed Leroy's trust.

I

I

Oh-oh...what is gonna happen? Let me know what you think...and remember, reviews make me update faster!


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you so much for the great reviews, they are soooo much appreciated! :) I'm happy you enjoyed how Tony takes care of Gibbs and how Gibbs reacts to him. As a reader pointed out in a review, I too have no idea if Gibbs' condition is medically plausible, but, well, this is fiction, so let's believe it is. :)

And now for the next chapter, this is where the warning I put in the beginning of the story comes in act.

**-x-**

Tony was reading on the couch and Leroy was sitting at his side, as always lost in his world. But that evening Tony was acutely aware of his presence, so much he stopped reading and turned his head to study the older man's profile.

A strange feeling settled in Tony's stomach as he realized Leroy was a handsome man— probably the handsomest man he had ever meet.

The lamplight was making his hair shine like polished silver, his skin was slightly bronzed and his face, free from the worries of the past, looked more relaxed and even younger…boyish.

The sight brought back the memories of the times Tony had fantasized about what it would feel like to touch his boss in an intimate way and to have Gibbs touch him in return.

Everyone knew Tony was a ladies' man, but he was aware that he wasn't completely straight, although he had never acted on his interest for men. Mostly because he had never found a man he had felt like risking his career to be with.

And then he had met Leroy Jethro Gibbs: abrasive, sarcastic, short-tempered, coffee-addicted, work-obsessed, but also full of irony, gruffly caring, reliable and handsome as hell. Tony had been charmed from day one, and had thought that yes, Gibbs could have been a man worth taking some risks for.

Of course, Tony had known from the start that those thoughts had been totally inappropriate and that Gibbs would have broken his legs had he had the slightest idea of what was passing in his subordinate's head.

But those thoughts had never gone completely away and now, that evening, the longing Tony had felt many a time was back, was made even stronger by the look of absolute trust and openness he could see on Leroy's face.

The opening of the older man's shirt left part of his chest bare, and Tony felt his fingers twitch with the desire to caress that patch of skin and feel if the grey hair he could see would be soft or coarse.

"Would you allow me to touch you, Leroy?" he asked softly.

Leroy reacted at the sound of his voice, turning his head to look at Tony with a placid, almost sweet expression on his face.

Tony leaned forward to stare directly into his eyes and murmured, "Would you like to feel my hands on you? Or would you be angry?"

Of course, he was not expecting any response aside from Leroy's continuous staring.

Almost without volition Tony's hand rose to gently brush the hair that fell over the older man's brow, then it trailed down to caress his fascinating mouth. Leroy's lips were slightly wet under his fingers pads and he closed his eyes when Tony brushed his thumb back and forth on them.

The desire to taste that mouth overwhelmed Tony and his hands trembled as he cupped the older man's cheeks and brought Leroy's face close to his own as he bent his head and kissed him.

The lips beneath his own were warm and soft, and opened willing as Tony probed them with the tip of his tongue. The younger man explored his mouth and Leroy let him do it, not answering the kiss, but not resisting either, as Tony savoured his taste and felt intoxicated by it.

Tony pulled back when the kiss ended, and he observed Leroy. His eyes were still closed, but there was a smile on his lips- a content smile.

Encouraged and desperate to taste him again, Tony kissed him on the mouth, then he covered Leroy's face with tiny kisses, relishing in the flavour of his clean skin. Brow, nose, eyelids, cheeks, jaws…Tony kissed everywhere. Leroy didn't resist, and when the younger man's mouth finally reached his strong neck, the older man not only tilted his head back to give him more room, but he moaned- the first sound he had ever made since the morning he had answered the question about the blanket. It was a moan of pure, masculine pleasure, and it made Tony's cock twitch and harden.

The younger man continued kissing Leroy's neck as his hands started to rub up and down his arms, enjoying the sensation of his soft skin stretched over his muscles.

Tony felt as he had never before. Powerful, aroused, dizzy with pleasure even if Leroy was doing absolutely nothing to him, but just staying still, letting Tony touch and enjoy him.

Tony shifted on the couch to get closer to Leroy, and as he did so, he suddenly realized where they were—and what he was doing.

He was taking advantage of a mentally sick man—a man he professed to love and care for.

The realization made Tony sit straighter and cease kissing and touching Leroy, as he looked around the room, feeling self-conscious. What was he doing?

Leroy's eyes opened and he fixated them on him. They were dark blue but shining, and despite the blankness still lingering in them, Tony knew the older man wished to continue what they were doing.

That was enough to silence Tony's conscience. He stood up and reached out with his arm.

"Come," he murmured throatily, and Leroy didn't hesitate, taking his hand and following him to his bedroom.

Once inside, the door closed behind them, Tony gently removed Leroy's shirt, belt and trousers as the older man kicked away his shoes.

Tony's hands trembled as they ran over Leroy's body. He had never thought a man could be beautiful, but he was.

He wasn't powerfully built, but Tony could perceive the strength contained in his lean form.

His squared shoulders and chest gave way to a belly that had just slightly softened with age. His legs and arms were muscled, perfectly proportioned, like a statue made by a master sculptor, with the difference being he was alive, breathing and so warm.

Tony looked down at Leroy's cock and his eyes widened. That was an area where the older man was bigger than him, and he shivered at the thought of taking it in his mouth or body.

Tony's eyes trailed back to Leroy's face and he saw how intently the other man seemed to be watching him, as if he was waiting for something.

Tony let his index finger trace a line along Leroy's shaft and smiled satisfied at his long moan and at the way he threw his head back. He wasn't able to reach the older man's soul, but at least he could give him what his body craved.

Tony led Leroy to his bed; pushed at the older man's shoulders until he was lying on his back, then he straightened and disrobed, as his soon-to-be-lover's eyes following his every move.

Tony's heartbeat quickened when he saw Leroy's gaze pose over his naked figure as the older man licked his lips and his member twitched. Leroy liked what he was seeing!

The younger man lowered himself on the bed, laying on his side near his lover, and caressed his chest in a wide circular motion, ruffling the hair there and brushing his nipples.

Leroy moaned at the light contact, and it brought Tony a thrill to discover he was so sensitive there.

Tony licked, nibbled and delicately pinched the small peaks as Leroy writhed under his mouth, his head thrown back in the pillow as his hands gripped the sheets.

It was an amazing, heady feeling for Tony to see the older man laying there at his complete mercy, but he didn't stretch it too far. He didn't wish to torture Leroy- nor himself. And also, his lover looked more than ready, clear liquid leaking from the tip of his member, and Tony did not want him to waste his gift.

Moving quickly, Tony stretched atop of Leroy, settling between his spread legs. They both groaned at the same time and their erections were trapped between their tightly pressed bellies.

Tony rocked his hips experimentally, and his eyes widened at how good the friction against their taut stomachs felt.

He looked at Leroy and was amazed by how beautiful he looked now, his eyes hooded and yet bright, his cheeks flushed with desire.

Tony repeated his movements, tearing a moan from Leroy's throat, then frowned as he realized that as delicious as the friction was it was not quite enough to appease the lust in his blood and, he suspected, neither his lover's.

So he slipped his hand between their bodies, wrapping his fingers around both their erections and moving them up and down as he kept on rocking.

_Much better_, he thought, before pleasure overruled all his thinking processes and he gave himself to the sensations his hand and body and most, importantly, Leroy's presence were causing.

It didn't take Leroy long to reach his peak, his body arching up as he moaned loudly, and the sound spurred Tony's own climax.

Afterward, Leroy fell asleep almost immediately, and Tony soon imitated him, too dazzled to even try to think about what had happened.

I

I

Oh Tony, what did you do? What will happen next? Let me know what you think...and remember, reviews make me update faster!


	4. Chapter 4

Well, last chapter caused strong reactions in some readers and I guess the rest of the story will too. I had predicted it, and in truth this is one of the reasons I kept postponing the posting of this story. I knew Tony's actions were going to cause quite a stir and yes, there is no doubt he did something very wrong, although I believe it's not rape, but, as a reader suggested, a situation where Gibbs' consent was rather dubious.

That said, I wish to thank all the readers that left reviews and I hope you'll keep on reading the story and see what consequences Tony's actions will have on his relationship with Gibbs.

**-x-**

When Tony woke up the following morning, the enormity of what he had done crushed over him like a ton of bricks.

He had taken advantage of Leroy. Of his former boss and friend. Of someone who had never shown a hint of interest for another male.

He had taken advantage of a sick man, of someone who wasn't really aware of what happened around him.

It didn't matter that Leroy had liked it and found satisfaction in the act.

It had been a rape- not a violent one, but a rape nevertheless. How could have done it? To the man he had had sworn to care for and protect for the rest of his life?

Tony felt so sick he thought he would throw up- but he didn't, for Leroy moved in the bed.

The younger man's breath caught in his throat: how would Leroy react once he woke up?

Tony slowly rose to a sitting position and looked down at the older man, as he lay at his side.

Leroy was awake, watching him with his calm eyes. There was no accusation in their depth, and a slight, sweet smile graced his lips.

He was content, maybe even happy- at least to the degree a man in his condition could be.

Seeing Leroy was well made Tony breathe more easily, but shame assaulted him again when his eyes swept over his bare chest and he saw the marks his teeth had left on the other man's skin.

Tony sighed and pushed away his guilt as a useless feeling. There was nothing he could do to erase what he had done, but he would just make sure it would not happen again.

**-x-**

Later in the evening, Tony sat in the living trying to concentrate on the broken stereo he was trying to repair. His mind continued to drift away and return to what had happened in that room the previous night.

Sighing, Tony put down his tools and threw a side glance at Leroy, sitting on the chair near him.

A shiver ran along Tony's spine as he saw how intently the older man was staring at him. He turned to face his companion fully and noticed how his eyes were sparkling…as they had done the previous night.

Tony lowered his head, telling himself he couldn't do it again, when his gaze fell on Leroy's groin and he gasped. The light trousers couldn't disguise the bulge between his legs.

Leroy was hard- hard for Tony.

Tony looked back at his eyes, acutely aware he was blushing, and Leroy smiled gently at him, before scooting toward the younger man with an eager expression on his face.

_He wants it_, Tony thought. _He wants it as badly as I do, and he is reacting…he has taken a small step, asserting his will…My Boss…banging against the cage imprisoning him_.

Tony stopped questioning his actions and leant forward, kissing Leroy. The older man's lips parted at once beneath his, but this time, when Tony tasted his mouth, he responded, his tongue tentatively trying to mate with his lover's.

The younger man's heart almost burst with excitement. Leroy was reacting- to him.

Tony stood up when the kiss ended, imitated by his companion, and this time he didn't need to take Leroy's hand to lead him to his bedroom.

Once there, Tony quickly stripped both of them and, like the previous night, he encouraged Leroy to recline on the bed on his back.

He caressed and kissed the older man, enjoying the cries of pleasure spilling from his lips. As the previous time Leroy was totally passive, letting Tony take whatever he wanted, do whatever he pleased.

His explorations of his lover's body led him to the puckered, tender skin guarding the older man's opening, but even if he burned with the desire to touch it and maybe even penetrate him, Tony knew he couldn't do it, no matter how plaint Leroy was.

It was something too intimate, too personal, something Tony couldn't take if Leroy didn't offer it first. Tony had no idea if the man who used to being his boss would ever agree to have sex with a man if he were in his right mind, but he knew Gibbs had been married three times and had several relationships—all with women. There was no evidence he might be bisexual as Tony was and should the younger man take him, he wouldn't only violate his body, but his inner nature too.

No, Tony could not take Leroy's body…but he could offer his own.

Thrilled by the idea of having his lover's thick shaft inside him, Tony rushed into the bathroom looking for something he could use as lubricant and found it in a bottle of massage oil.

Quickly returning to the bed, he found a condom, rolled it on Leroy's cock, and smeared it with the oil. Then he coated his fingers with more oil and used them to prepare himself.

Tony had no direct knowledge of the act he was about to take part to, and he was equally eager and scared by the images running into his mind.

When he thought his muscles were loose enough, Tony straddled Leroy's hips, raised on his knees, took hold of his lover's erection and, after taking a deep breath, he lowered slowly and impaled himself on the turgid sex.

They cried out in unison as Leroy filled Tony, in pain and pleasure. Tony hadn't be prepared to be stretched so much, to be filled so much, and it took him a few moments to get used to having Leroy's length throbbing in his depths.

Tony willed his muscles to relax and when the pain started to subside, he started moving up and down along the thick shaft. He gasped at the pleasure caused by Leroy's flesh rubbing against some spot inside him. His rising and falling became more rapid as he worked to feel that pleasurable sensation again and again, and his erection, which had wilted a bit, returned to full strength.

Tony kept on rising, circling, writhing on Leroy, moaning and gasping as the friction inside him grew in intensity, but after a while his legs started to tremble and ache.

His muscles were unused to such movements, weak for the lack of exercise, and the pleasure was undoing him, sapping all his strength.

Tony tried to rise again, but his thighs had cramped, and an anguished cry escaped his lips.

He looked down at Leroy, lying there, panting between his spread legs and murmured in desperation, "Help me…I cannot end this alone…I need you…"

Tony didn't know if Leroy understood what he said or if it was just a matter of his instinct taking over for he needed fulfilment as badly as the younger man, but he took hold of Tony's hips in his hands, bent his knees to give them more leverage, and started thrusting inside his lover with vigour.

Tony leaned forward, posing one his hands on Leroy's chest, feeling his heart beat wildly, and using the other one to stroke his hardness in time with his lover's thrusts.

It didn't take them long to reach their climax, and Tony went over the edge as soon as he felt Leroy's tense and still beneath him.

They cried out and moaned together as pleasure washed over them, then Leroy let go of Tony's hips and the young man slumped forward, collapsing half on him, half on the mattress.

They fell asleep like that, with Leroy's softening member still buried in Tony's body.

I

I

Yes, Tony did it again, but I hope it's clear that "Leroy" is more than willing. As for "Gibbs", well, that's another matter...Let me know what you think...and remember, reviews make me update faster!


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you so much for all the reviews. I'm happy to see Tony's actions in the last chapter somehow redeemed him, although I understand those who are still bothered by his behaviour. As for the readers asking were the team is and why they haven't found Tony and Gibbs yet, let's presume Tony covered their track very well, OK? This strictly a Gibbs-Tony story, with no other character having a "speaking" role in it.

**-x-**

From that night on, Leroy moved into Tony's room and always slept in his bed, and they did more things together. For example, Tony took the habit of reading to Leroy in the evenings, while the older man helped Tony as he tended to the flowers in the garden. In truth, Tony had been startled the day Leroy had suddenly picked up a hoe and started sowing a neglected flowerbed, but he had soon recovered from his surprise and encouraged his companion to continue.

Spending more time together made Leroy get even closer to Tony, and his displeasure at being left home when the younger man went in town grew. But now more than ever Tony wanted to protect the man he loved from public pity and ironic comments.

Yes, there was no doubt in Tony's mind. He loved Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Not as his boss, not as his best friend…or at least not only like that. He loved Leroy as the person Tony wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Their lovemaking continued to fill Tony with glorious pleasure, which increased the more Leroy reacted to his ministrations.

Leroy's hands now pressed Tony's head against his chest when the younger man teased his nipples, and his fingers buried in the younger man's hair when his lover took his manhood in his mouth.

Leroy's tongue mated with Tony's when they kissed, and even if he never took control of their kisses nor initiated one, he now gave as much as he received.

Tony almost wept with joy the night Leroy's hands rose to caress and pinch his nipples as he rode him, so confident and bold for a moment Tony thought his lover was going to grab him, flop him on his back, inverting their position and finally pound him into the mattress.

Leroy didn't, however, and when Tony reached his climax, he cried out both in pleasure and disappointment.

**-x-**

One day Tony decided to take a trip in the countryside with Leroy, since he wanted to make up with his lover for all the times he had left him at home alone.

He packed the car with food, a blanket, one of his favourite books, and then they were off, enjoying the sun on their faces and the wind ruffling their hair.

Tony's mood was very good. He felt happy and he desperately wanted to share that happiness with Leroy —but how?

Tony was forced to focus on the present when he saw the road in front of them was half blocked by two cars that had been involved in a crash.

He slowed down and then came to a complete stop as they reached the cars.

"Do you need me to call 911?" Tony asked to a man who was standing by one of the car, holding a handkerchief to his head to stop the trail of blood dripping down his face.

"No, thanks. We have already done that," the man replied. "This," and he pointed to the blood-splattered, broken front window of the car, "looks worse than it is…No one is badly hurt. We are all walking."

Tony nodded, "All right."

The ambulance's klaxons echoed in the air, but not loud enough to cover the distressed sound Leroy made in that moment.

Worried, Tony turned his head toward his companion and gasped when he saw how pale the older man was.

His eyes were wide, fixed almost unblinkingly on the crashed cars, and he had never looked more lost to Tony than in that moment.

"What is it?" Tony asked taking his lover by the shoulders, trying to soothe him. "It's just a car crash, Leroy, and no one was seriously wounded…"

Leroy didn't react, his eyes still fixed on the bloodied front window.

Tony tried to make him turn his head away, but it was useless. So the younger man did the only thing he could do: he turned the car around and drove back home as fast as he could.

Once at the cottage, Tony pulled his unresisting companion out of the car and took him inside the house and to their room. He made Leroy recline on the bed, where he laid calm, his eyes still wide open and blank, his skin unnaturally cold.

Tony sat down at his side and ran his fingers through Leroy's silver hair, wondering if he should summon the doctor, and praying his lover would soon snap out of his trance-like state.

Tony had no idea of why Leroy had reacted so badly at the sight of the car crash. They had seen a lot of them of their job, and his boss had never given the indication he had been touched in a special way.

After a while, Leroy blinked several times in rapid succession, turned his head to look at Tony, gave him a tired smile…and fell asleep. It happened so quickly Tony had barely the time to smile back before his lover's eyes closed.

Tony watched him for several moments more just to be sure he was all right, and then he stood up and left Leroy to his rest.

Leroy didn't wake up for dinner and Tony thought it was better to let him sleep, but he left some food on the table by the bed, just in case his lover would wake in the night and feel hungry.

Later in the evening, Tony joined Leroy in bed, spooned behind him and fell fast asleep… only to be awakened a couple of hours later by the older man's thrashing.

Tony switched on the bedside light and rolled away from Leroy just in time to avoid being hit by a flying fist. He watched almost in horror as his lover writhed on the mattress, his face twisted in a grimace of pain, his brow covered with sweat.

Tony knew he had to wake Leroy and free him from his nightmare, but it wasn't easy to get close to him for fists and kicks were flying in every direction, as if he was fighting something. Tony tried to rouse him by calling his name, but it was useless. He kept on thrashing, until… until…

He spoke.

"Shannon…Kelly…No!"

Tony sat there, his mouth open.

Leroy had spoken for the first time in weeks!

His voice had been raspy, rough, perhaps because he hadn't used it for a long time, but the words had been clear, although full of mystery.

Who was he calling for? Who were Shannon and Kelly?

As Leroy writhed on the bed, now making sounds of distress, Tony bit his lower lip and tried to decide what to do. His lover's obvious pain was breaking his heart. His first instinct was to shake he older man until he woke up, to stop his suffering.

But perhaps waking Leroy now was not the best thing he could for him. Perhaps Tony had just to let it go on because, maybe, that dream would help his lover to break out from his mental prison—and Tony wanted the man he loved to be well again, even if that would almost certainly mean the end of their relationship.

So Tony did nothing, tormenting the fabric of the sheet with his fingers as Leroy endured his pain until, finally, the older man's eyes snapped open and he sat up on the bed, gasping for breath as he looked at his surroundings. His gaze focused on Tony and his eyes filled with relief upon recognizing him.

Leroy reclined back and patted the mattress, silently asking Tony to join him. The younger man slipped beneath the covers and was immediately engulfed in his companion's embrace, as he buried his face in Tony's hair and sighed.

Tony gently caressed the arm hugging his waist, brushing the hair covering it, until Leroy's heartbeat slowed down and his breath deepened in sleep.

Only then Tony relaxed and without bothering to switch off the light, he allowed himself to fall into an exhausted slumber.

After his crisis, Leroy slept well into the next day and when he woke up, it took Tony just a glance to understand his boss was finally back.

**-x-**

It was mid-afternoon and Tony was taking advantage of the fact Leroy was still sleeping to work out in the garden.

After he was done, Tony used a towel to dry the sweat from his face and neck. He was debating if he should wake Leroy or not, when he heard the backdoor open and close.

He turned around and found Leroy standing there, his back random straight, his posture military rigid.

Tony's breath caught in his throat he studied the older man's eyes: they were no longer blank or dull, but vigil and alert—Special Agent Jethro Gibbs' eyes. Most of all they were haunted— Leroy's eyes.

The two men observed each other in silence, and then Gibbs asked his voice low and deep.

"What happened?"

It wasn't an easy question to answer, for it encompassed so many events Tony couldn't even remember.

Tony squared his shoulders, as he always did when he gave a sit-rep to his boss and answered, "You were wounded in an explosion, Gibbs. You ended up in coma for several days and when you finally woke up you were catatonic and unresponsive to outer stimuli." He paused for a moment, and then pressed on. "The doctors in Bethesda thought the hospital wasn't the best place for you to recover, so we decided to move here, and I came to take care of you."

Gibbs tilted his head, staring at him intently. "What explosion?"

"The one on the _Bakir Kamir_, at the Portsmouth harbour."

Gibbs frowned and shook his head. "I don't remember it…I remember another explosion…" he voice trailed off, uncertain.

"What explosion, Boss?" Tony asked, confused.

"In Kuwait, in 1991."

Tony licked his upper lip as he took a step forward. "Boss, we are in 2006. The explosion you remember happened fifteen years ago." The younger man wondered if this explosion had something to do with the nightmare Gibbs suffered or his shock upon seeing the car crash.

Gibbs just nodded.

Silence fell over them, and the more it stretched, the more uneasy Tony became. Gibbs was a difficult man to read and he would give about everything to know what the older man was thinking- and if he remembered what he and Tony had done together during the previous weeks.

Finally Tony couldn't bear the silence any longer. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could utter a word, Gibbs turned on his heels and walked back into the cottage, leaving a distressed Tony behind.

I

I

Oh-oh, things don't look very good, uh? What will happen next? Let me know what you think...and remember, reviews make me update faster!


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks so much for the reviews, they are really appreciated. I see that most of you are curious to see if Gibbs will remember his time as "Leroy" and what will happen if he does, so...here y there is the next chapter! Enjoy!

**-x-**

In the days that followed, Tony and Gibbs didn't exchange a single word and they barely saw each other.

Gibbs was up and out of the cottage by the time Tony woke up, only to return home after the younger man had retired. The only evidence they still lived together were the clean dishes the older man left to dry on the sink after his meals.

For the rest, Gibbs was like a ghost that haunted the rooms and the woods around the cottage and Tony often spotted him sitting by the creek or walking among the trees.

Tony desperately wanted to help the older man. It was clear that Gibbs wasn't well. The mere fact he hadn't pretended to know there they were or not asked to contact NCIS, was a sure sign there was something bothering him. Perhaps it was the same reason that had pushed him to retreat inside himself, but how could Tony help him if Gibbs refused even talk to him?

True, Tony could have confronted him, but he never did. He was afraid that if he tried to push for answers, Gibbs would slam into his face the fact Tony had taken advantage of him, again and again, while he wasn't well.

Some people would probably said Tony was entitled to get answers after everything he had done and everything he had sacrificed in order to help the older man, but he didn't think so.

What he had done had been done to help his boss and Tony didn't want anything in return, not even gratitude or a "thank you".

In truth, if Tony was completely sincere, there was something he would love to have – Gibbs' love – but he knew it would never be his.

So Tony let Gibbs alone, watching over him from afar, and hoping the man he loved would find the peace of mind he obviously was looking for.

**-x-**

Several evenings after Gibbs' return to awareness, Tony heard a knock on his bedroom door.

He froze for a moment knowing it could only be Gibbs, and then he took a deep, calming breath, and went to open.

The two men stared at each other for a long while, scrutinizing each other's eyes.

Finally the older man asked, "May I come in?" but from his tone and his posture Tony understood that in true Gibbs' fashion, he wouldn't take a "no" as an answer.

The younger man moved aside and gestured him to come inside, as he wrapped his robe closer to his body.

Gibbs entered the room with the sure stride of a man in command of himself and the whole world, and that made Tony send silent thanks to the heaven. His boss was now truly back.

Gibbs stopped in the middle of the chamber and scanned it with the eyes of a Marine intent on discovering enemies or searching for possible escape routes.

"I've some questions for you," he finally said, looking at Tony.

"Ask me and I'll answer," Tony replied with a calm he didn't feel.

"I need to know what really happened."

"What?"

"Don't try to fool me, DiNozzo. I know you haven't told me the whole truth about my situation," Gibbs said lowly, taking a step toward him.

"How can you say that?"

Gibbs smirked. "I know you lied to me the other day. You said "we decided to move you here" and during all these days, I thought with "we" you intended Ducky or Jenny or maybe both of them. But if it was so, they would be here – wherever here is – by now. You would have alerted them as soon as I regained awareness and at least one of them would have come to see me… My money would be on Ducky. But they aren't here, DiNozzo, and I know you haven't contacted anyone since I recovered…so what's going on?"

Tony wanted to ask how Gibbs could possibly know he hadn't contact anyone since he had been outdoors most of the time, but he didn't. After all Gibbs was famous to be all-knowing and besides, he was right. Tony hadn't contacted anyone.

Tony tilted his chin up and said his voice strong and clear in spite of his inner turmoil. "You're right, Boss. I didn't tell you the truth. 'We' didn't decide to take you here. I did. And you know why? 'Cause the doctors in Bethesda were planning to move you to a psychiatric clinic—and Ducky and Jenny were going for it."

Gibbs tilted his head on his side. "But you didn't going with it…why?"

"Because I've been to one of those places and it gave me nightmares for months after my visit. I didn't want you to end there. So…I took you away."

"You kidnapped me?"

"Essentially, yeah."

"You went AWOL for NCIS to bring me here?"

"Yeah."

Gibbs shook his head, for once looking completely confused and not understanding. "Why, Tony?"

Tony shrugged, "You would have done the same for me."

Gibbs' eyes narrowed. "So your _feelings_ for me had nothing to do with that…"

The way Gibbs pronounced the word "feelings" made Tony freeze. He absolutely knew the older man wasn't referring to the respect, care, affection Tony had felt for Gibbs as his boss when he had made his decision.

The older man was referring to Tony's other feelings, the ones he had concealed from everyone, himself included…until they had overwhelmed him.

Tony felt all his blood leave his face. "You…you remember?" he whispered.

"My body remembers," Gibbs said with an almost ferocious growl.

Almost without volition Tony's gaze dropped to Gibbs' groin and he gasped when he saw the erection tenting the brown slacks.

He raised his eyes to look at Gibbs in shocked wonder.

"Boss-" Tony had no time to complete the line. Gibbs was on him in two steps, pulling his head down and plundering his mouth with his hard lips.

The younger man was taken by surprise, but not so much so that he could not respond. His arms rose to wrap around Gibbs' back as their tongues mated with each other.

Gibbs' kiss stole Tony's breath away and the older man tore a moan from him throat when his lips traced a damp, hot path from his mouth to his neck. Gibbs' hands weren't still either but cupped Tony's buttocks, fingers digging in his flesh as he pressed the younger man against his hips.

Tony was stunned, barely able to keep up with the passion pouring off Gibbs. He had never expected the older man to jump him, and a part of him wondered about the reason behind such behaviour. Was it mere lust? Was it just a way for Gibbs to vent out his frustrations? Or there was something more?

Tony found out he didn't care. Gibbs wanted him, wanted to make love to him of his own will, domineering and strong as Tony had dreamed of for months—and it was the only thing that mattered in that moment.

Tony's shaking hands went for Gibbs' belt, and he hurried to free his lover from his clothes as the older man worked to do the same with him. Tony heard the fabric tear under Gibbs' impatience, but despite of everything, his boss wasn't being forceful or brutal in his actions. He was just demanding and insistent. Relentless.

When they were finally naked, they stood in front of each other, both breathing harshly, both staring at the other.

Tony had seen Gibbs or better, Leroy, naked plenty of times in the past months, but by how the other man was looking at him, it seemed like Gibbs had never seen him before—and perhaps, in a certain way, it was really so.

Gibbs moved forward and before Tony could realize what was happening he was pushed none too gently down on the bed, while his lover crawled over him on hands and knees.

Gibbs' eyes were dark, stormy, and Tony thought there wouldn't be foreplay. So he searched in the nightstand's drawer and picked up the bottle of lube and the box of condoms.

Gibbs nodded, but left the bottle and the box fall on the mattress; as one of his hands came down to fondle Tony's balls. The younger man moaned at the possessiveness of his touch and writhed under his predatory gaze.

Tony tried to wrap his arms and legs around Gibbs, but the older man pushed them away and continued with his explorations of his flesh. It was like he wanted to make it clear he was now in control of himself and their coupling and that they would move at his pace.

Gibbs was slow, deliberate, methodical in his caresses and kisses, taking time to observe Tony's reactions to his touch, seemingly enjoying each moan, groan and sigh he tore from his lover's throat.

"Please," Tony begged, when the ache between his legs became unbearable, "take me…" He reached out to grab Gibbs' erection and use it to pull him down, but his lover slapped his hand away.

Gibbs sat back on his heels and retrieved the lube and the condoms. He sheathed himself, and then opened the bottle. He dripped some drops on his fingers and used them to coax his sex, slowly and methodical as before, his stormy eyes never leaving Tony's.

Then he dripped more lube on his fingers and gestured Tony to turn around to lie on his stomach. There was some fumbling, signalling Gibbs' complete inexperience with the act, and then his long fingers entered Tony, gradually stretching and preparing him.

There was a moment of stillness, and then Gibbs moved atop of Tony and impaled him in a quick move. He didn't give the younger man time to get used to him, but started a rapid pace with his hips. It hurt a little, but when Tony turned his head around, a quick look at Gibbs' hooded eyes told him the older man wouldn't stop or slow down. Tony's desire escalated even more at that total mastery over his body.

This was the man, the lover Tony had always hoped Leroy one day would be. Passionate, aggressive, but not rough, not violent…not uncaring, as the hand now wrapped around Tony's sex confirmed.

Gibbs' thrusts became harder, quicker and deeper, each of them punctuated by a moan or a groan, before he went completely rigid and his groan of pleasure echoed in the room, joining Tony's own scream of pleasure.

Afterward, Gibbs collapsed over Tony's body, but managed to roll away before crushing the younger man. His arms pulled Tony with him and he was pressed against Gibbs' sweaty chest as they both struggled for breath.

No words of love or affection were exchanged that night, but as sleep crept over Tony, he was sure something important still existed between Gibbs and him, and he smiled happily before exhaustion claimed him.

The next morning Tony woke up late, feeling well rested and content. He rolled on his back, and the slight soreness between his legs brought a smile to his lips as memories of the previous night returned.

His hand reached out in the bed, searching for Gibbs, but found only fabric and air. He wasn't there.

Tony sat up, wrapping the sheet around his hips and looked around, disappointed because he was alone. He had still so many things to tell to Leroy…Jethro…Gibbs…whatever.

The light filtering from the shutters he had no time to close the past evening told Tony it was almost midday and he stood up and put on his robe before going to search for Gibbs.

On his way to the door, he noticed a sheet of paper resting on a closet shelf and he picked it up with a frown.

_Tony__,_

_I appreciate, more than I will ever able to say aloud what you did for me __in these past months, but I cannot stay here. There are still so many things weighting on my mind and I need to confront them if I wish to find again some peace._

_I need to go back. There are places I need to see, people I need to talk to._

_Take care of yourself._

_L.J. Gibbs_

Tony paled as blind fear gripped his heart. He ran out of the room still clutching the note in his hand, sprinting across the rooms until he stepped outdoor, just in time to see a taxi pull away from the cottage private road.

Tony watched until the car disappeared from his sight and then, defeated and feeling more alone that he had ever been, he returned to his bedroom, reclined on the mattress, hugged Gibbs' pillow—and cried.

I

I

Poor Tony! A night of pleasure and then...this. Told you it was going to be an angst galore! Let me know what you think...and remember, reviews make me update faster!


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you for the reviews. I'm really happy you enjoyed the previous chapter. :)

**-x-**

The following weeks were hard for Tony.

He hadn't realized in the past months how his days had centred on Leroy and now that he was gone, Tony didn't know what to do with himself.

The days were long and monotonous, the nights almost unbearable as he lay awake in his bed.

He felt alone, desperate, empty.

In truth, Tony should be happy. He had repeated himself all along that he only wanted to restore Gibbs to his health—and he had.

He had nursed his boss back to his former self, caring for him day and night, and he should now feel proud to see Gibbs spread his wings and fly away.

_After all,_ Tony told himself, _you've always known he would never stay with you once he was healed. You couldn't have really believed Gibbs would stay after he realized what you had done to him while he was sick._

Tony had repeatedly taken advantage of a mentally sick man. It didn't matter he never hurt Leroy or the fact the older man had seemed willing and enjoyed himself. Their couplings had not been consensual and should Gibbs decide to accuse Tony of rape, the younger man knew he wouldn't even try to defend himself.

This was why Tony hadn't made any attempt to contact Gibbs or anyone else at NCIS. He thought himself lucky to be still free and not in jail, and he didn't want to press his luck.

And yet, every time Tony looked at the photos he had taken of him and Leroy during their stay in the cottage, his stubborn heart jumped with longing and hope…hope that the older man was not suing Tony not out of gratitude for what he had done, but because he felt something for him.

Tony thought many a time of what that final night had meant for his boss, but he had no idea, because even if Gibbs was not the kind of man to use sex as punishment, their coupling had not been lovemaking either, at least on his boss' part.

And maybe, in due time, his stubborn, broken heart would learn to accept it.

**-x-**

Time passed and life went on around the cottage. Tony found a job in a video store in town, not because he needed the money, but because he needed a way to fill his time and empty life.

He missed his work at NCIS. He missed Abby, Ducky, Ziva and even McGee. And of course he missed Gibbs.

While he didn't regret the choice he had made, Tony couldn't help to wish he could turn back the clock a return to the night before Gibbs had boarded that damned ship, in order to prevent the events that had followed.

Then, one Sunday morning, almost two months after Gibbs had left, Tony heard a car enter the property.

He went to see who it was, skidding to a halt when he saw a dark grey sedan with a Virginia plate proceed toward him on the gravel covered driveway.

It was Gibbs' car.

Tony rubbed his suddenly sweaty palms on his light brown trousers as he watched the car stop. The engine was turned off, the door was opened and Gibbs appeared.

Tony's heart sang at the sight of the man he loved, but he willed himself not to let his hopes rise too much.

The two men walked toward each other and met midway through the driveway, where they stopped and studied each other.

Gibbs looked well, in good health and physical shape, his inner energy almost palpable.

They stood silent for a long while, until Tony decided to break the stillness.

"You look well, Gibbs," he wasn't sure his respectful but affectionate "boss" would be welcome.

"You too, DiNozzo," Gibbs answered softly. "Country life suits you."

"Not really. I'm just making the most of what I have." _Left,_ Tony mentally added.

"Good to know. I would hate to take away from here if you liked this life."

Tony frowned. "Take me away? Where to?"

"Washington. Where else?" Gibbs answered with his customary impatience.

"Why should I return there? There is nothing for me there, aside for being charged for kidnapping, that is…and maybe for something else too."

Gibbs shook his head. "Nah. You didn't kidnap anyone. You're my next of kin, and as such you had the right to make that decision for me, even if you should have alerted the hospital personnel and the team you were taking me away."

Tony's eyes widened in surprise. "Next of kin? Gibbs, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are. You're my next of kin since a week before the explosion."

"I never knew…"

"Of course you didn't. McGee and Abby made the document…ahem…appear in the NCIS Human Resources archive two days after you disappeared with me."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh. As for Jenny, she granted you an extended leave for personal reasons, but now your time up. It's time to go back to work."

Tony's mind was spinning. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. He wasn't going to end in trouble for taking Gibbs away from Bethesda and he still had his job at NCIS…

It was almost too good to be true.

"Are you sure you want me on your team, Gibbs?" Tony asked. "Will you be able to work with me again?"

"What kinds of questions are these, DiNozzo?" Gibbs replied, irritation seeping into his voice.

"Let's not mince words, then. I'm referring to what happened between us. I know what I did and I was and am ready to face the consequences of my actions, but I won't put the others in jeopardy if you feel you won't be able to trust me."

"I do trust you, Tony. More…I need you," Gibbs said, his voice a mere whisper. "I've discovered I don't feel complete if you aren't near me…"

Tony's heart burst with all the love he had tried to repress from the moment Gibbs had appeared.

He took a step forward, raising his arms, wanting to wrap them around the older man, but Gibbs took a step back.

"Wait, let me finish, Tony. There are things I've to say…"

Tony smiled sadly. "I know. You're gonna tell me you care for me, but not like a lover… not like I love you. We both know what happened here doesn't count, not even the last night. _Especially _not that last night," he replied wistfully, turning his head away to look at the cottage.

"You're right, Tony… not like that. But certainly more than just as your boss." Gibbs shook his head and began pacing. "I need to tell you something only a few people know. I guess you know the doctors said I retreated into my mind after the explosion because I was probably trying to escape some painful reality or memory."

Tony nodded, "Yes. We all broke our heads trying to understand what would cause that reaction."

"Do you remember when I regained my awareness? When I told you about an explosion in Kuwait?"

Tony just nodded.

"Well, the explosion on the ship somehow caused a relapse in me. It brought me back to that first explosion in Kuwait, in 1991…and back then I had a reason for wanting to hide from reality."

Gibbs took a deep breath, looked down at his feet and then back at Tony. "I've been married four times, not three, and my first wife gave me a daughter. They were both killed while I was serving in Desert Storm. As a matter of fact, I got the news only a couple of hours before I was caught in the explosion."

Tony stared at Gibbs, shocked, even if his brain was working at light speed to put the puzzle pieces together.

"Their names were Shannon and Kelly, weren't they?" he asked after a moment of silence.

Gibbs nodded, surprised. "How do you know?"

"You cried those names in your sleep, during a very bad nightmare, the night after…" Tony narrowed his eyes, "They were killed in car crash, weren't they?"

Gibbs nodded again. "Yes. Shannon had witnessed to the murder of a Marine in Oceanside, near Camp Pendleton. She was NIS' chief witness and was assigned an agent as protection. Unfortunately the killer murdered the NIS agent while he was driving our car, and Shannon and Kelly died in the resulting crash."

Tony remained silent, not knowing what to say. He couldn't even imagine what kind of agony must have been for Gibbs to lose both his girls…and then to have live through it twice. No wonder he had tried to escape the pain!

"I-I don't know what to say. There is nothing I could tell you that wouldn't sound trite, except the fact I feel your mind had a damn good reason not to want to face that horror another time."

"Then you understand why I can't love you – or anyone else - as you want me to? I still love Shannon…to me it's just like she died six months ago. Fifteen year of difficult – and only partial- emotional healing has all but disappeared and I'm basically back at square one."

Tony just nodded. What else could he said after hearing the pain Gibbs' voice?

"I do care for you Tony, in a mix of paternal, brotherly, friendly way. I can't deny that just after my awakening the memories of what we did together had the power to arouse me despite the fact I never had any interest in males…but no longer. I love you Tony, and I'll never thank you enough for what you did for me- but I'm not in love with you. Can you understand it?"

Once again Tony nodded. Yes, he could understand. Those weeks spent as Leroy's lover were going to be like a beautiful dream that disappears with the arrival of the morning. And Tony couldn't begrudge Gibbs for being his usual, often painfully honest self.

The older man wasn't the type to mince words, sweeten the truth or give false hopes—and Tony appreciated it.

And in the end, Gibbs had admitted to love Tony. Not in the way he would have preferred, but it was still better than nothing. Heck, it was a lot more than better than nothing.

"Yes, I understand it."

"And can you accept it?"

"Yeah…but can you? Can you deal with me knowing what I feel for you?"

"I wouldn't be here if I couldn't."

Tony almost snorted at the smart typical Gibbs' response. It was so good to see the man was back to his old, abrasive self. He smiled.

"I guess so, Boss."

"Boss? Are you coming back, then?"

"Yeah."

For the first time in far too long Tony saw Gibbs smile, not the sweet, gentle smile Leroy had given him, but a full grin.

"Good." Gibbs took a step forward and before Tony could react, the older man enfolded him in a tight hug.

Tony tensed for a moment, then he melted into the embrace as his own arms rose to wrap around Gibbs' strong back.

Tony breathed in the scent of the man he loved, savouring the feeling of his arms around him as long as possible, because God only knew when and if he would get another embrace like this one. Gibbs wasn't a huggy type and that this hug had been given with the intent to convey the message he loved and accepted Tony with no reservations. That he still had his Boss' complete trust.

Finally Gibbs moved back and Tony regretfully let him go. The older man nodded then walked toward the house.

Tony watched his long, determinate strides and elastic steps. Gibbs was really back, there was nothing of the hesitant Leroy's walk left in him.

Then suddenly Gibbs stopped by the door, cocked his head and looked at him, and on his face Tony saw the same curious look Leroy had often sported.

"Are you coming DiNozzo? The road to Washington is long and you need to pack!" Gibbs entered the house without waiting for an answer.

Tony shook his head with fondness. His lover Leroy might have been gone, but he still had his boss Jethro Gibbs, a man that loved and respected him, and it was a lot more a lot of people ever had.

"On your six, Boss!" Tony said with a smile, before jogging toward the house.

The End

I

I

OK, it's done. I know this isn't the "happily after ever" you probably wanted/ were expecting, but it's the bitter sweet end this story wanted. The writers among you probably know that sometimes stories have a will of their own. I hope you won't be too disappointed. Thank you for sticking with this story till the end and stay tuned for more Tibbs fics! Next in agenda is "Vengeful Connection", my 6th story with Vampire! Gibbs/Tony.


End file.
